I have been meeting with a young man for more than three years, we are the first to each other. We have strong and stable relationships in sexual and psychological terms. I would like to stay with this person if our goals in life will coincide further. But what to do if one of us wants to try something new? More precisely, try it with someone else? And, most importantly, is it possible to solve this issue without harm to the relationship? The young man is rather jealous.
Victoria, 20 years old
You have an actually ideal situation: each other’s first, three years together, “strong, stable relations in sexual and psychological terms”. All this characterizes you as adults capable of love and a long harmonious relationship. I sincerely
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believe that your goals (in particular, to maintain and develop these excellent relations in all available and healthy ways) and will continue to coincide.
Solving your question “without harm to relationships” is very simple. Moreover, on the formulation of the question itself, it is easy to guess in whose head the thoughts appeared “to try with someone else”. You just need to make an adult responsible decision: all experiments are made inside a constant relationship. Ask myself the question: “Are I ready to take a chance with my happiness, my ideal situation that I created and nurtured for more than one year, for the sake of an act that may not bring me joy, but will cause pain to my beloved man?”
The true diversity in intimate life is not quantitative, but qualitative. It is achieved not by the mechanical change of partners, but by the ability to expand, diversify and increase the range of pleasures with a permanent partner. There are excellent words in Kamasutra: “The main goal of this book is to learn with one woman to get such pleasure and diversity, as if he lives with the fifty different women”. And this also applies to women. I wish you a variety and harmony of your beautiful couple!